Category Archives: parenting

The Most Important Parenting Verses in the Bible

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Deuteronomy 6:5-9

  • “You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.
  • “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart.
  • “You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them
    • when you sit in your house,
    • when you walk by the way,
    • when you lie down,
    • and when you rise
  • “You shall bind them as a sign on YOUR HAND, and they shall be as frontlets between YOUR EYES.
  • “You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

Most biblically minded parents will be familiar with this verse.  It is a foundational truth which we have all studied, memorized, and heard taught and preached concerning parenting. It’s such a wonderful verse because it not only tells us what to do but how to do it.

  1. We are to “love” God,
    1. But Moses goes on to pen God’s instructions on accomplishing that. We are to love him completely, with every fiber of our being: our heart, soul, and strength. How does that look in a practical every day setting?
    2. God is ingrained into our hearts at salvation. He enters our lives because of the Blood of Jesus, washes away our sins and we are never the same from that moment on! Think about it! It’s the difference between a sparkling clean glass and one that has laid in the yard after being filled with a sugary drink. The world’s critters have used it. The world’s slime has grown in it. The world’s natural bent is to reclaim it. But then the Master picks it up and washes it clean, making it sparkle and shine—ready for the Master’s use!
    3. Because of that cleansing power, we aim all our strength at filling our hearts and souls with His purpose, and that life, my friend, will certainly look a lot different than the world’s version of living.
  2. We are to “live” God.
    1. There is no way our lives can be the same after God’s cleansing! Every aspect of living is touched and changed, and this change should be most evident with our children.
    2. TEACH them DILIGENTLY and TALK about JESUS! That’s what this verse says, but it is so important that Moses goes even further and gives us specific details on HOW that happens:
      1. When you are sitting in your house:
        1. You’re playing with your children and reminding them of God’s promises and commands (to love one another, understand sin, and love Jesus through their actions with others.) You’re watching TV and you are careful to not let anything tear down our Savior. THAT’S a fulltime job right there!
      2. When you walk in the way:
        1. You’re making dinner and you praise God for the beautiful, colorful vegetables that are going into the salad. You’re at the grocery store and God graciously puts the peanut butter on sale which just happens to be on your list and you thank God with your children. You walk in His creation and point out all of God’s handiwork. You give a Gospel tract and show Jesus’ love for others with your children and talk to them about it.
  • When you lie down:
    1. The last words of the day with your children and in your heart are about this wonderful God who loves us and wants to be near us, so much so that He put these words in His Book, the Bible: “Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you” (James 4:8).
  1. When you rise up:
    1. Before your feet hit the floor, your mind is already focused on your God, your heavenly Father, your Lord and Savior, and your children see it, hear it, know it, and long to emulate it in their lives.

Simple? Yes and no.  It’s simple because of the next two verses. God’s Word is everywhere in your life! It is as much a part of you as breathing! How does that happen?

Read your Bible, pray every day and you’ll grow, grow, grow!

The hard part is making it a priority. Nothing is more important to you, especially as a parent, than imprinting God’s image into your life so that you can be an example to your children. Why is it so important? Believe me, as a grandmother, there is no greater joy than watching your grandchildren walk in the ways of God and watching your children work at making it be so!

Why is it so important? Because the eternal destiny of their little souls and perhaps the souls of following generations depend upon it! What an important verse! None is so full of challenge and blessing! Deuteronomy 6 is not about knowing the Bible or even teaching the Bible–it’s about LIVING the Bible!

 

 

At the End of the Day

 

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I see a lot of people throughout the week, especially A LOT of kids. Why do they act the way they do? There are SO many reasons! When I’m dealing with a student who is having a grumbly day, I wonder what he/she faced that morning before coming to school. By high school, character issues are pretty well formed. What can possibly change a sullen student, or an obnoxious student, or a pity-party student, or a trouble-making student? Only Jesus!

Are you a parent? Are your children a blessing to you? Have you given them security even in the midst of trying circumstances? As a family, we faced several rough spots on this journey called life, but something that my husband once said really made the difference.  When I was in the midst of falling apart and I began to notice that my kids were a bit insecure, he said, “Honey, if they see that we’re alright, they will be alright.” He was right!

So what do we do when we’re NOT alright? Dear believer, you run to Christ!

I run to Christ when chased by fear
And find a refuge sure.
“Believe in me,” His voice I hear;
His words and wounds secure.

I run to Christ when torn by grief
And find abundant peace.
“I too had tears,” He gently speaks;
Thus joy and sorrow meet.

I run to Christ when worn by life
And find my soul refreshed.
“Come unto Me,” He calls through strife;
Fatigue gives way to rest.

I run to Christ when vexed by hell
And find a mighty arm.
“The Devil flees,” the Scriptures tell;
He roars, but cannot harm.

I run to Christ when stalked by sin
And find a sure escape.
“Deliver me,” I cry to Him;
Temptation yields to grace.

I run to Christ when plagued by shame
And find my one defense.
“I bore God’s wrath,” He pleads my case—
My Advocate and Friend.

Words by Chris Anderson
Music by Greg Habeggar
Reprinted with permission

I could have highlighted the entire song, but I tried to highlight our problems and God’s wonderful solutions. Life is hard! Satan is real and so are temptations and sin! But Jesus is greater than any trial, any temptation, and difficult situation. When you find yourself thinking that you can’t, remember: GOD CAN! If there’s one fight that’s worth fighting, it’s the fight for our kids! Don’t just give them over to this world’s philosophy! You will regret it for the rest of your life! When we step away from God’s Word, God’s church, and God’s people, we step out from under the umbrella of His blessings, and God promises to rain judgment upon those who forget Him. OUCH!

For if God spared not the natural branches, take heed lest he also spare not thee. Romans 11:21

You may say, “But I don’t forget Him.” But are you honoring Him? Are you panting hard after Him, longing to know Him better? Do you regularly spend time with Him alone in the Word? Do you desire to be with His people? Or has this world pushed into Sunday AND Monday, and Tuesday…

Kids need to see an honest heart, no matter what the topic, but when it comes to our faith, Satan works overtime to steal our kids away through our less than honest ways.

LORD, who shall abide in thy tabernacle? who shall dwell in thy holy hill? He that walketh uprightly, and worketh righteousness, and speaketh the truth in his heart.Psalm 15:1,2

At the end of the day—at the end of this life—I want to know that I did all that I could

  • To be right with God
  • To be right with my fellow man
  • To have done all that I could to draw my children and grandchildren and maybe someday great-grandchildren to walk close to their God
  • To have done my part in giving the Gospel

As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God. My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God: when shall I come and appear before God?Ps 42:1,2

How about you? Any thoughts?

Pornography—the Roaring Lion

Why would a fifty-nine-year-old pastor’s wife write about pornography? Well, it certainly isn’t a desirable topic, and certainly not one which I would choose to write about. But for the past two days, I’ve been dealing with messages sent to my blog which were links to porn sites. Did I look at them? Sadly, I was deceived by the first one, so yes, for one horrible moment I was there.

I remember a pastor preaching about temptation and saying that the first temptation is not sin.  It becomes sin when you return to the temptation the second time. When the second message came from another source, it looked very much like the first one. I debated whether I should look at it, and here’s the really frightening thing:  For one split second, I was curious. Me! How much temptation it must be for a young man! I was horrified that I was even tempted.

Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour. 1 Peter 5:8

This is not child’s play, my friend!

  • We need to be sober, or serious about this. The accessibility of porn is frightening!
  • We need to be vigilant—ever watching and on guard. Be sure there are safeguards on your electronic devices AND on those of your children! An innocent mind could be destroyed by one accidental click!
  • We have a dangerous, conniving, powerful, never-stopping adversary. Jamieson-Fausset-Brown’s commentary tells us that the word ‘adversary’ literally means “opponent in a court of justice.” Satan is constantly accusing us and building a case against us. He’s a murderer from the beginning (John 8:44). This tempter counteracts and counterattacks the Gospel and everyone who proclaims it. If you are a born-again believer, you have a target on your back and so do your children!
  • He is a roaring lion. He is violent and has an insatiable thirst for the blood of his prey.
  • He walks about, roaming the earth with his minions.
  • He does not just want to chew on us, he wants to devour us! How? By entangling us in the many worldly cares and snares that we face every day!

Praise God for the next verse in 1 Peter 5: Whom resist steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world (9).

There will always be an image in my mind of a photo that a boy thrust in my face as a junior high student on the bus on my way to school.  I was horrified that day as well. I never knew such things existed. Beware! The eye-gate is the place where Satan does most of his dirty work. Guard it carefully and protect your children and teens as well! I can’t imagine what it would be like to be enslaved to that sort of thing. Truly there is only one way of escape! Jesus Christ our dear Savior! Only through Him and His amazing grace and the power of His Holy Spirit can we steadfastly resist!

But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you. I Peter 5:10

The Most Beautiful Sight (AKA When Satan trembles!)

white ceramic teacup with saucer near two books above gray floral textile
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This week at our Mom’s Morning, several of the young mothers shared about their mornings—how they got up early (while it was still dark!) and had their devotions. Each one shared the precious wonder of quietness as they drew near to God before little feet began to patter. That is one of the most frightening things on earth in the eyes of our Archenemy. In fact, I can only think of one other thing that would be more frightening to him—fathers having their devotions!

These young women gather regularly to study God’s Word as it is expertly applied to parenting by Paul Tripp. (14 Gospel Principles That Can Drastically Change Your Family). They share their struggles and openly express their failures and shortcomings… and Satan trembles.

Raising children has never been easy. Every era has its own set of challenges. We recently watched a movie as children were pulled from their parents and shipped to another location because Hitler’s army was coming. I can’t even begin to imagine the heart-wrenching horror of having to do such a thing. Sadly, in my home state of Pennsylvania, we read once again about the unspeakable abuse of children in the Catholic Church. How do you parent through something like that? Michael Pearl states that “for the first time in the history of the world, Satan has mainline, 24-hour-a-day, intravenous access to the hearts of children… into the brains and hearts of children” (No Greater Joy, March/April 2018 p. 25). With the enemy’s ability to encroach our homes, we must be doubly on guard to protect and nurture our little ones!

But… there are parents who are fighting back! They are building a wall of protection for their children, staying alert to the strategies of a most artful and expert foe! They fill their homes with the sounds of God’s music. They faithfully come to church with their little ones. They guard the eyes and ears of those precious little souls who are in their watch care. But most of all, they are looking inward and allowing God to change THEIR hearts to be more like the Master, and that, my friend, is Satan’s worst nightmare! When moms make the effort to rise before their children to spend time in the Word, Satan trembles. When they not only read the Bible but apply it to their hearts and lives, Satan shrieks. And when they allow the Holy Spirit to use what they have gained from the Word to change to be more like the Master, Satan fumes. They whisper those sweet words of Jesus into their hearts and then into the ears and hearts of their children, and Satan flees! What a beautiful sight!

Are these moms perfect? They would tell you, no! Do they have perfect children? No again, but they are determined to what it takes to mold their children into soldiers for Jesus Christ, ready to do battle against the Enemy when it is time for them to take up their swords.

As Satan’s time of total defeat draws nearer he is ratcheting up his attacks. We can see signs of that everywhere, but I am so thankful for this next generation who are determining to “hold the line.” It truly is a beautiful sight!

I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.3 John 1:4

Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.  Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. James 4:7,8

Press, follow… persecute?

 

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How is your “press” going? Are you “pressing?” I’m not talking about removing a wrinkle in your shirt—I’m talking about checking for a possible wrinkle in your life.

The Greek word for press is more often translated as “persecute” (24 times–the only thing I can figure is, if you are going to persecute someone, it says something about your dedication to a cause!), but it is also translated as “follow” or “follow after” ten times. (I’ll list some of those verses at the end. I thought they were very helpful. Comparing scripture with scripture is one of the best ways to study the Bible and gain a deeper understanding of its meaning.)

Philippian 3: 14 is the only place which translates the word as “press,” and the illustration which Paul is alluding to is that of a runner pushing himself towards the finish line. I’m not a long distance runner (unless you consider running to the mailbox 50 feet away as a long distance!) but I would think that the most difficult part of the race is the middle where you cannot see any signs of the finish line, and isn’t that where we spend most of our time?

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So, that makes me throw out another question: Can you see the prize? According to Paul, the prize is not just crossing the finish line but a “high calling” or the race itself. Winning the race is not just a single moment of completion but the culmination of hours of running and training!  Commentator Albert Barnes puts it this way:

 

God has called us to great and noble efforts; to a career of true honour and glory; to the obtainment of a bright and imperishable crown. It is a calling which is “high,” or upward—that is, which tends to the skies. The calling of the Christian is from heaven, and to heaven. Compare Proverbs 15:24 (The way of life is above to the wise, that he may depart from hell beneath), He has been summoned by God, through the gospel of the Lord Jesus, to secure the crown. It is placed before and above him in heaven. It may be his, if he will not faint or tire, or look backward. It demands his highest efforts, and it is worth all the exertions which a mortal can make even in the longest life. (emphasis added)

We all need to be “pressing,” diligently seeking to finish well. I’m not sure how that translates for you today. It may mean not hurling angry words at a clerk or fellow driver or thinking the worst of someone who chooses not to do what you think they should. OUCH! Or perhaps for you, dear mommy, it means showing patience to those little gems who are driving you crazy!! (Showing them patience does not mean letting them have their way, but guiding them in the right way with a right heart.)

Each of us has a race to run, and every born-again believer’s race should include a local church. OUCH AGAIN! (I’d better stop all the toe-stomping or no one will read my posts!) Seriously though, there are shut-ins, doctors, and other occupations that just cannot be in church on a Sunday morning but too often, we make all kinds of excuses for missing out on the best part of the week! Here’s the last question:

Can you honestly say that you are running your Christian race well and not be involved (concerned, occupied, implicated, immersed, enmeshed, entangled, aboard, participating, on the team, with us, on our side—all synonyms!) in your church? A very famous preacher said this:

Today thousands of local churches are dying because of Christians who are unwilling to serve. They sit on the sidelines as spectators, and the body suffers. God calls you to a service far beyond anything you could ever imagine. He created you for a life of good deeds, which he has already prepared for you to do (Ephesians 2:10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.). Whenever you serve others in any way, you are actually serving God.

I can certainly “Amen” that statement! Do you need to follow the Nike motto and “Just Do It?”

Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,

I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

Let us therefore, as many as be perfect, be thus minded: and if in any thing ye be otherwise minded, God shall reveal even this unto you. Philippians 3:13-15

Here are some of the verses that use theGreek διώκω (diōkō) translated as “follow after:”

Rom 14:19 Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another. (This verse actually had the Greek word in it twice.  I’m not a Greek scholar, but it looked as though you would say, “Let us, followers, therefore follow…”)

1Co 14:1 Follow after charity, and desire spiritual gifts, but rather that ye may prophesy.

Phl 3:12 Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after,  that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus.

1Ti 6:11 But thou, O man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness.

Do I Love My Mother?

Lovely-Happy-Mother-Day-2016-Wallpapers-PicturesThis is really a challenge to mothers. I’m listening to Blue Castle by Lucy Maud Montgomery, and the main character just confessed to a friend that she doesn’t like her mother, never did. The following is an excerpt from the book:

 

“Why,”—she [Valency] had a desperate desire that Barney should know the worst about her–“I didn’t even love my mother. Isn’t it awful that I don’t love my mother?”

“Rather awful–for her,” said Barney drily.

The statement made me stop and think. Why was it awful for her mother?

Children come into this world with no bias, no presuppositions, no prejudices. They will become what God plans for their lives, and we have the opportunity to mold them. As believers, we desperately want our children to love God and desire to keep His commandments, so we take them to Sunday School and church.  We read the Bible to them, and most importantly, we live godly lives before them.

My husband and I have three grown and married children. All of them have this mindset, and yet they worry that their children will not embrace their beliefs. Perhaps I’m wrong, but I tell them that THEIR HEART’S LOVE AND PASSION FOR THE LORD is making all the difference.  Are my grandchildren perfect? Of course. J No, they are all little sinners, but to hear them talk about God already at a young age, and see their faithfulness to church warms my heart and gives me hope. It’s a reflection of what is happening in the home!

Will a child hate a sweet, godly, submissive, gentle, kind, caring mother? Most likely, no. Even in the trials of teen years, the stage will have been set for a loving relationship: communication is normal, reasoning is biblical, decisions are made together with the parents. There is little room for hatred.

In the book, Blue Castle, the reader can clearly understand Valancy’s dislike. Moms, can we be honest enough to look in the mirror and see what our children are seeing? Better yet, can we be honest enough to look in the mirror of the Bible and see what God sees?

Wanda!  This is not very encouraging for Mother’s Day! Oh, my friend, but it is! You can’t do this apart from the Holy Spirit’s help, coupled with a desire to change! I know a mother’s heart. What is most pressing on a mother’s heart? Hopefully, it is to please her Lord and Savior, but the close second is to raise her children right! Will you be willing to change to become a better mom? It isn’t easy! It hurts! It can be a lonely place until we get serious about the issues that are making it difficult for our children to like us.  They will always love us, but do they like us? Oh, the blessings will abound when we are willing to become more Christ-like!

Little by little, inch by inch.

By the yard it’s hard, by the inch it’s a cinch.

Never stare up the stairs, just step up the steps.

Little by little, inch by inch.

~ Ron Hamilton

 

But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord. 2 Corinthians 3:18

Button-pushing Cherub

Do you have one of these in your life—you know, the child that knows just what to say to get your blood boiling? I’ve been teaching children for forty years in various capacities: piano teacher, public and Christian school teacher, homeschool teacher, junior church and Sunday school teacher, Children’s Club and now Master Club teacher. I’ve always believed that God created me to teach. But last night, I was ready to quit.

We have three enemies: the world, our flesh, and the Devil. The world was telling me that I’m out of touch with this generation. My flesh was telling me that I’m too old. The Devil was on the sidelines hissing and nodding his agreement with the other two! And all of them were right!

I came home in tears and talked to God. When my husband came home, I could tell he was worried. My hero-fix-all-her-problems guy was sifting through his mind, looking for a way to solve this one. His solution was that a man should be in charge and I agree. But who?

After a time of relaxing, he read our devotions before turning in for the night. The devotional was just what I needed! POW! Right in the nose! God just pinned me to the wall about my heart and actions. Then, after a good night’s sleep, I did my usual start to the day: talk with my heavenly Father.  I’ve found that I MUST pray before my feet hit the floor or it doesn’t happen. I started praying for my little button-pushing-cherub, and God broke my heart.

You see, my question is, “Am I making any difference in these kids’ lives? Maybe it would be better to not allow those button-pushing-cherubs (BPCs) to come. Life would be so much easier! After all, I’m focusing on them and neglecting the good ones! They’re not listening anyway. (Typical BPC statement, and I quote: “I have an important question. When is game time?”)

Those may be true statements but they’re not from God. He put these little BPCs in my life for a reason. They are my mission! Perhaps God will use me to impact their lives!

Our theme for the year’s Master Club is “Run for God.” We’re singing “I’m Running” by Ron Hamilton and “Running for Jesus” by yours truly. As I sat in the dark talking to God, the words from these songs echoed in my brain.

I’m running, I’m running, but not for fame,

I’m running, I’m running, in Jesus’ name.

Keep running, keep running, to see His face.

Keep running, keep running the Christian race.

 

Though Satan will trip me, I’ll never give in.

I’ll never give up, or slow, or stop

I’ll run day by day.

And sing when I hear Him say, “Well Done!”

He led all the way.

Don’t give up, friend! Keep pressing on until you see His face! Don’t be mistaken, it’s a battle, but is there any other battle more worth fighting than for the souls of children? Stay in the battle until He changes the command!

 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

Philippians  3:14