For better for worse? For richer or poorer? In sickness and in health? Do we really think all those situations through when we say them? I don’t think so, and I don’t think we can. I can’t help thinking about some of the newer versions of the wedding vows, like the one that says, “as long as our love endures.” That might last through the wedding reception! I’ve seen daggers in the eyes of a beautiful bride as the comedian-bridegroom shoves cake in her face. What a ridiculous tradition!
And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone;
I will make him an help meet for him. Genesis 2:18
The promises we make at the altar are not what prepares us for becoming good helpmeets for our husbands. The character we’ve endeavored to instill into our daughters will prepare them to be wonderful helpmeets for their husbands; however, after nearly thirty-three years of marriage, I’m still learning.
Tom’s fall has changed the whole landscape of our marriage! He is able to walk with a walker, but his foot is still non-weight-bearing and will be for another few weeks (five to seven? 😦 ) I’m continually amazed at his improvement; however, it’s going to be a long time until he takes out the trash!
At first, serving him was just a “knee-jerk” reaction. He couldn’t do anything and he was in so much pain. I would have been pretty hard-hearted not to help him! He is an excellent patient, and even though he does as much as he can, he still needs me to wait on him hand and foot (especially foot! 🙂 ).
We’ve worked into a good system and he’s constantly thanking me for what I do. Today, I hit a high mark: Twice he asked for something that I had already done! “You’re perfect,” he said. Me? Perfect? I seriously doubt it!
It has been an incredible learning process for me. First, I’ve come to appreciate all that my wonderful husband does, or did! Second, I’ve learned how impatient I am; and third, I’m learning true servanthood! As I serve Tom in the most intimate ways, I realize just how important it is to be his helpmeet. Certainly, I thought I knew that before, but as I got busy doing my own thing: blogging and writing and gardening and teaching and playing and planning music and grandmothering, at times I became frustrated when our schedules didn’t jive and I was the one who had to bend.
Today, I made a startling discovery: I want to hear my LORD say, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant.” How sad to hear Him say those words about my service in the church, or my grandmothering, or my teaching, but not hear it as a helpmeet! THAT is the one place that counts the most, and if no other good comes out of this whole ordeal than that lesson for me, it will be worth it.
How about it, ladies? How well is your “serve” at home? I am so thankful that the Lord did not take him home to heaven! He could have! Oh, how wonderful to have a husband to serve!! Just ask any widow.