Tag Archives: Proverbs 23

Parenting 101: Spanking (Part 1)

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“I wouldn’t want to be raising my kids in this world!” Doesn’t every parent say that?  I remember saying it and I remember my mom saying it to me! As the world seems to get crazier and crazier, what a wonderful, blessed assurance that our Lord Jesus NEVER changes!

Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and today, and forever. Hebrews 13:8

Not only is Jesus the same but the Word of God is as well:

Forever, O LORD, thy word is settled in heaven. Psalm 119:89

Amen!  Do you have your hanky waving yet? Maybe I should end this post while I’m ahead!

Parenting in 2020 is NOT easy, but perhaps the first question in Parenting 101 is this: What does “turning out right” look like? We all have our own opinions about what that means, but I think that as born-again believers we will all agree that we want our children to love the Lord and follow His commands.

I’ve recently finished reading the book “Why I Didn’t Rebel” by Rebecca Lindenbach. This young lady makes a lot of good points. Her easy-to-read honesty is refreshing.  She has done a lot of research. However, I have one big concern with her book. In chapter 6, Discipline, she makes some wonderful statements. The subtitle, “Keeping the End Goal in Mind” is excellent. However, she quotes several leading psychologists who have written books and done loads of research about spanking. Their conclusion:

“What she [Dr. Romano] found was that spanking does not have any positive outcomes.  There was only one neutral outcome, which was immediate compliance.  But there were thirteen other outcomes that were all negative. These include increase aggression, a less close parent-child relations, and an increased risk of mental-health issues during childhood.1

1Rebecca Lindenbach, “Why I Didn’t Rebel,”  Nelson Books. (2017)p. 102.

Apply your heart to instruction, And your ears to words of knowledge.

Do not withhold correction from a child,

For if you beat him with a rod, he will not die.

You shall beat him with a rod,

And deliver his soul from hell.

Proverbs 23:12-14

 (Wow! Could God have expressed the importance of discipline any stronger? I once heard a preacher say that when we warn but never follow through with correction, a child may possibly hear the preacher warning him about hell and not respond because he has been conditioned to believe that punishment never comes!)

Please don’t miss her point. When we are out of control with discipline or correction, when we proceed with red-hot anger, when we put more emphasis on correction than instruction, then we have lost sight of the goal. But God clearly gives us a mandate. Notice that prior to God’s instruction about discipline He commands, not suggest, that we apply our hearts to instruction.  It makes me think of the care I take to apply makeup. I even bought a magnifying mirror so I could really see what I was doing! It’s a tedious process! Our study of God’s Word—checking it out, studying it and then applying what we have heard to our lives—should be as well. THEN WE ARE READY TO CORRECT AND INSTRUCT OUR CHILDREN.

When “the rod” is outlawed from a loving parent’s hand, he loses a most valuable tool. I recently asked a young mother of a 4 and 6-year-old about spanking and she said that most of the spanking happens when a child is between the ages of 1 and 3. Even now, she is reaping the benefits of early discipline in her children. They are well-behaved, self-controlled, kind, and loving. They honor their parents and love them dearly. They have a healthy respect for authority because their parents have spanked them in a loving, biblical way.

I often run into parents who want this kind of child but will not take the responsibility to train their children. It is a very sad thing.

So, today’s tip for parenting: Love them enough to discipline them.  The benefits are out of this world!

Wanna Buy a Truck?

downloadThere’s been a battle raging for some time in Christian circles about the drinking of alcohol—I should clarify and say among born-again believers. It’s quite fascinating to me because I grew up in a home that had no alcohol in it, even though we faithfully attended a church that used wine for communion. (I take that back. Dad kept a bottle of whiskey for the cows when they got sick!) On the other hand, my husband grew up within the same denomination in a family that was over-the-top faithful but his father enjoyed a drink fairly occasionally.  In fact, as a boy, it was Tom’s job to bring the beer up from the basement and put it in the fridge.

We were both born-again later in life and, after we married, we were soon involved in an independent Baptist church. The thought of having alcohol in our home never crossed our minds.

BUT, the kerfuffle about drinking alcohol is alive and well and probably always will be. Here’s a thought:

A friend wants to sell you his truck…

“You wanna buy my truck?”
“Well, maybe.” You’ve seen the truck.  It’s not in great shape but you really can’t afford much else. “Is it in good shape?” you ask.

“Well…” Your friend hesitates a little as you both walk over to the truck. “You can see that there’s some rust spots on it but I’ve patched most of those.” The truck looks like a spotted elephant and you’re not sure if the truck was originally gray or if that’s all Bondo. “The brakes stick sometime and give out occasionally, but it’s never happened to me going downhill. There’s a little gas leak and the transmission has a few bugs in it. The right rear lights are out but that’s not a big deal.” He stops and hesitates.

You look at him doubtfully. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“Well, somethings wrong with the steering wheel.” He chuckles.  “To say it pulls to the right is an understatement.”

Are you going to buy his truck? If you have any sense you’ll run in the opposite direction!

After Solomon gives instruction about gluttony, greed, and dangerous women in Proverb 23, he teaches about alcohol.

Who has woe, sorrow, contentions, complaints, wounds without cause, red eyes—“they who linger long at the wine…who go in search of mixed wine” (Proverbs 23:29,30).

Solomon’s warning? DON’T EVEN LOOK AT IT! It will bite and sting.  You’ll see strange things and say even worse. You will be out of control and, worse of all, you’ll go back for more (Proverbs 23:31-35).

Does the Bible forbid the drinking of alcohol? Not that I can see—it just tells you how foolish it is to get entangled into its web of woes.

Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging:
and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise.
Proverbs 20:1

So…wanna buy a truck?