Too – more than is needed or wanted; more than is suitable or enough
Small – less in size or amount than is average
It’s amazing what a few little words will do to a definition. If you take out the words “too” and “small” the definition reads like this: someone who gets upset or angry over problems. That is NOT a drama queen–that definition probably describes all of us at one time or another.
We’ve all witnessed the antics of a drama queen; perhaps we have even played the part. So when have we crossed over the line of the suitable amount of anger or upsetness, and why do we get so upset or angry over seemingly small problems? There are so many angles to this statement! I can hear you forming them in your mind while you read:
“Well, just because HE thinks it’s a small problem, it’s big to me!”
“HE thinks I’m overly upset if I just blink the wrong way!!”
“SHE just doesn’t get it!”
Look at those statements! Can you see where the focus is? It’s not on the problem; it’s on HIM or HER and more importantly, on ourselves! Drama queening boils down to selfishness–it’s all about me. Sadly, as women, we often feel pushed into this roll. If only he would … you fill in the blank. Once again, can you see that the focus is all wrong? Instead of focusing on HIS shortcomings, and if your husband is human, he has them, take an inner look at your actions and reactions, dear one.
My mother was brutal when I was a child–brutally honest! (Hope you read this one Mom!!) I LOVED teasing others and still do. Anyone who knew my father knows that I inherited it from him! But my teasing often put me in the hot seat of retaliation, and my dear mother would say, “If you can’t take it, don’t dish it out!” Oh, how those words still ring in my ears! She was and still is right, and it doesn’t only apply to teasing. Our marriages and all relationships would do well if we would apply it to every action and reaction.
Sometime, try an out-of-body-experience: As the argument gets hotter, stand back figuratively and watch the argument, especially your side of it through his eyes. You’ll be amazed at what you see! Look at the whole picture: the results of your drama queening, the damage happening to your relationship, the caustic fumes destroying the atmosphere of your home. Is it worth it?
So what is the antidote for drama queening? God gives us so many of them in His Word because He knows our weak flesh. He knows how our flesh loves a sharp rebuttal. He knows that we want attention.
Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. OUCH! Those are NOT the words a drama queen wants to hear, but there is so much truth in them. James says, Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! (3:5) And verse six gets even tougher: And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.
Drama Queening mainly about words and actions, but behind it all is attitude: Proverbs 4:23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. As born-again believers, we should never take the part of drama queen, because under the mask of overreacting is a heart that is not right with God–a heart that needs to be cleansed by the Word. Like a wound, our hearts which may have been sliced and diced by another’s drama queening need to be cleansed of the hurt and poison of harsh words and attitudes, or the infection of bitterness will set in and destroy the health of our souls! The only remedy is the Balm of Gilead!
Two more remedies from the Word:
Proverbs 30:32 If thou hast done foolishly in lifting up thyself, or if thou hast thought evil, lay thine hand upon thy mouth.
Psalm 141:3 Set a watch, O LORD, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips. This little verse was a memory verse for our Children’s Bible Club a few weeks ago and I can’t tell you how many times I needed to recite it to myself that following week!
The Drama Queen’s tongue is truly set on fire from hell, burning completely out of control, causing so much damage to our relationships and our homes, completely destroying the inner peace and joy that we so desperately need when facing our other two enemies: the world and Satan.
The bottom line is this: Is drama queening–feeding our pride, salving our wounds, and defending our rights–worth the disastrous damage done to our loved ones?